This morning when Blake's alarm went off the following song was playing on the radio. As I rolled over and pulled the covers higher, the lyrics trickled into my half-awake mind.
Time measured out my days. Life carried me along
In my soul I yearned to follow God. But knew I'd never be so strong
I looked hard at this world. To learn how heaven could be gained
Just to end where I began. Where human effort is all in vain
CHORUS Were it not for grace I can tell you where I'd be
Wandering down some pointless road to nowhere,
With my salvation up to me
I know how that would go.The battles I would face
Forever running but losing this race.Were it not for grace
So here is all my praise. Expressed with all my heart
Offered to the Friend who took my place. And ran a course I could not start
And when He saw in full. Just how much this would cost
He still went the final mile between me and heaven. So I would not be lost
Forever running but losing this race. Were it not for grace
My emotions have been ragged the past few days. Tears just below the surface.
Not totally certain as to why. Perhaps too much cold? Too much winter? Too much sniffling, sneezing & coughing? A bittersweet phone call? A discouraging email? A book which planted questions? Too much time to think? To wonder? To find faults within myself?
To be honest, I have been feeling like I am losing the race. Maybe not completely losing but falling way back in the pack.
Mis-spoken words.
Mis-aligned priorities.
Focusing on the un-important.
Neglecting what is important; what is good & right.
This morning, I recognized the beginning of despair, of discouragement taking over my Spirit. And then...the song.
"WERE IT NOT FOR GRACE. Wandering down some pointless road to nowhere with my salvation up to me...He still went the final mile between me and heaven; so I would not be lost."
As they have so often during past doubts/fears, (my) emotions intersected Truth (reality). My salvation is NOT up to me and I am NOT lost.
Grace is present. Grace is abundant. Grace is sufficient.
(2 Corinthians 12:9) "But he said to me, My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness."
Where would I be. WERE IT NOT FOR GRACE?